My Christmas Story

Christmas. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? I have always thought so. Lights, decorations, parties, happiness, celebrating the birth of our Savior. Always, always has been my favorite time. This year, well this year is a bit different. Yes, we had fun opening gifts and had a few laughs with my sister in IL. Some really fun moments, actually. Unfortunately, that won’t be my Christmas memory. My Christmas memory will be sitting by my mom’s bedside for a few minutes at a time while she was awake. It was only a few minutes as she was asleep most of the weekend. She had a smile for us when we arrived, but by the time we left on Tuesday, she hardly knew what was going on. Unless you have experienced sitting by the side of someone who is in their final days, you can’t begin to grasp what it is like no matter how many things I would tell you. Or, at least, I know I couldn’t have before this past weekend. Helpless and in pain. Deteriorating physically and mentally. I will never get the image of her out of my mind as we sat a couple of hours with her before coming home to Iowa. She wasn’t the strong willed, stubborn, opinionated woman who I once knew. Yes, my mom…..

I must be honest. My mom and I have never had the close relationship I see so many have. We have disagreed and argued on everything from politics to the Bible to how to be a mother to why we would want to have pets. There has been a lot of pain in our relationship. But, now…seeing her as she is…..that is not the fighting mom I once had. She is weak and defeated.  In my heart there is now sympathy and forgiveness. There is some regret for times I hurt her and there is still some wishful thinking of what could have been. But, I know at the bottom of it all, around it all, there is love.

I don’t understand why she is still with us on this earth.  I have a very strong faith and believe that “all things work for the good” but when I’m in the middle of this, watching this, I struggle. It’s easy to tell someone else there is a reason. Not so good at it when it is this close to me. So, when I let myself, I rest in God. I know that we may never know why. I have to trust and believe. A friend recently reminded me of these verses:

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.  Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year. It will be again. But, for now....this is my memory. This is my family picture. This is what I will hold on to instead of the painful images.

A Life Cut Short

I keep seeing reminders of a tragic death from a car accident this past Sunday in the Cedar Rapids area, and it just breaks my heart. On Facebook, she looks to be a fairly young mother. A mother of 15. A mother who opened her heart to adopting a lot of those kids, and maybe all of them? I don't know this family, or anything about them. I know Jenny Groothuis is her name, but I didn't hear her name before I saw a post that she had died and yet, I can't stop thinking about her….and her family.

You may think why in the world would God let this happen. I know it has crossed my mind. But, then I try to remind myself that only He knows why, and that as a human we may never understand it. What I can guess, though, is that no matter if she died now or when she was old and gray, her and her husband have made a difference in those 15 lives. They answered their call. 

 This family will grieve big time. For a long time. But, they will move on slowly and live a day by day life. They will remember Jenny and all she was for them. I'm sure somehow, someway something positive will come out of this even though that is so hard to believe right now.

I am so inspired. This story has lit a fire in my heart. Maybe not to adopt myself, but to be aware and help those families who do. So, this is my remembrance of this family. Instead of questioning God and asking "why", I will think of them and pray. I will think of them and do more to help kids in need. I will think of them and thank Jesus for souls like Jenny and her husband who have obviously given everything they have to help the helpless.

https://sites.google.com/a/windandfire.org/jennygroothuis/

Food, Fitness and ME!

Yes, it is true. I am writing a second time in one week! I just had to though. Today, was also the second time this week I ran the elliptical for a 2 mile/16 minute (well, a few seconds over, but who's counting!?) run. Or is it walk? Or is it a float? I haven't figured out what that is on an elliptical? Anyhow, I am so proud. Maybe that is considered a "sin", but I am proud none-the-less.

 For many of my adult years, I have been told eat this, don't eat this; take these pills/vitamins, oh wait…there is something new and improved…that old stuff is now bad for you, take this instead. I've been told to exercise, go to the gym, go to this class, no go to this class. This is all on top of what I have told myself. A huge majority of my friends are runners now, so who felt pressured to do it so I would fit in? Yep…that's me! Now, I don't know about anyone else, but personally when I am being told what to do and told what I am doing is wrong, I tend to be a wee bit stubborn. I stomp my figurative foot and say "you can't make me!" However….for the last year I have tried turning everyone off. And, it is working! I have to admit, I did start with a 24 day challenge of vitamins/diet but didn't stick with it. But, because of that, a switch of a medication and using moderation as my diet instead of cutting everything that tastes good out of my life, I starting losing weight. A lot of weight! 2 sizes down! Yay me! I even have picked up taking vitamins again!

 But, then there is the next obstacle. The extra skin (ok, in actuality it is fat…and I will admit it). I don't notice it so much until swimwear comes into my life. But, now because I want to, I am exercising. I'm lifting my wimpy 3 pound weights and I am getting rid of that extra "wave". I'm staying on the elliptical. I am feeling better!

Yes, I am proud. I am here to say….don't feel beat down by media, Facebook and all that other stuff. Do what works for you to get healthy. Do it at your pace because I promise, it works!

Friendships

I am all about reminiscing. Something like a song or a show, the weather, clothing….pretty much anything can remind me of a good time from the past. I am amazed at my memory sometimes, actually. And, I am thankful. It makes me happy to remember good times with friends. I have seen and heard a bunch of stuff lately about friendships and that made me start thinking…..

Friendships come in all shapes and sizes. All kinds of colors. Really, it's true. I can think of big friendships, small ones, colorful ones. It's sometimes hard to make friends, especially when you move around a lot like I have. I love having close friends but it is hard because you move into a place where friendships already exist, and you don't always find a spot other than the outside looking in. I really love the idea that I have friends from childhood even though we are all scattered around the states. Thanks to FB, I have been able to get in touch again. But, you still don't know the ins and outs of their lives. Which, brings me to….

For 7 years now, I get to look forward to a week in Mexico this time of year. I get to go with a friend who I met in high school. We even figured out, prompted by a funny video of 2 OLD friends, that we are on our way to their 90 year friendship (A third of the way! Yikes!). Even though we go a few days/weeks without talking sometimes, and we don't always know what is happening each and every moment for the other, we have only gotten closer over the years. We have been through so much together, even living so far apart all of these years. I can remember almost all of it..good and bad. She is the kind of friend who you can sit with and say nothing at all but know that it is a wonderful sign of how close you are. We have things in common, but are very different in some things. Still, we click so well. I don't know what I would do without her. I know I can count on her. No matter what! She has my back. I can trust in her and I can trust our friendship.

 

So, am I excited to go to a warm beach for a week? No doubt. But, my "countdown" isn't just for that but also to spend 7 days with a very important person in my life! Have you told your friends who you count on and hold close to your heart how important they are lately? If not, I say you should! Then, reminisce about the good 'ole days!

 

Reminders

There is no greater reminder of all we have been blessed with than being told to write about yourself to a child who is in need!

 When it comes to material things in life, I have never been one to take what I have for granted. Sure, I have many friends, family and people I know in general that have much more than us, but rarely have I considered thinking "poor me". And, on the occasion that I do, it doesn't take much to remind myself. I don't dismiss the fact that I also know there are those who have much less than us. But, when you are put in a position of telling a child in poverty about your life, it makes you second guess why you have collected your goods no matter how many or how expensive they are, and I can't help but wonder how will this make her feel? My heart says "yay, Lori…you are helping someone not only with things, but also with loving words and prayer" while also saying "wow, Lori…what took you so long and how many more are you going to help?" As uncomfortable as it may seem to start this letter, I am thankful for that uncomfortable-ness. I am thankful for that reminder.

 

Maria….she is the same exact age as Sydney. I compare their lives. Not to try and feel bad or guilty, but to open my eyes to another world. There are so many people out there who need help. They need food, education, guidance, love. It is so easy to get lost in the everyday life, isn't it? It's like when someone dies too soon and you tell yourself to live life to its fullest because you don't know when your time will be up. So, you live that way for a few days, maybe even a few weeks, but then get back into your routine. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be reminded of those who need. Those who truly need, young and old. I want to have them on my mind and heart 24/7. Those who need money or food, but also those who need a shoulder to cry on, those who need an ear to hear, those who need to know there is Someone so much greater than us that they can turn to who loves them. I don't want to think of them 24/7 to be discouraged, but to be prayerful and hopeful for them when they can't on their own.

 

Reminders….I love them. I need them.

Weighing in....

A few people have asked how my challenge was. Some people wondered what I was doing, but could tell it was some sort of "diet". I have been wanting to add to my pathetically short blog collection, so what better way than this? Here it is!

 This past week, Jeff and I wrapped up an Advocare 24 day Challenge. This included a 10 day cleanse at the beginning, and then healthy eating…or what I refer to as a diet even tho they don't, HA!....during the last half. I lost 7 lbs. and 3.5 inches total. Not bad for 24 days, but I had wished to do a little better. However, as unfortunate as it is…I am aging. EEK! Losing weight isn't as easy as before, especially that problem tummy area. Am I right girls? Anyway, I digress. No, I didn't lose what I had dreamed of so I could look spectacular in that swimsuit next week. BUT….it is awesome to know that we actually LIKE to eat healthier!

So many of my friends are really into studying food, and the chemicals etc. that are in them. Me, not so much. Yeah, I know there is a lot of garbage out there, but I am all about the quick meal and I am pretty sure those are "loaded" with the bad stuff. My motto is moderation. Will I ever completely stop eating the junk? Nope. But, I will definitely note the portions and how often I eat it. I have learned that I like a baked sweet potato here and there. I don't have to have all the butter and coating on my piece of chicken. I LOVE ground turkey! I LOVE brown rice (once I figured out how to make it with some taste). These are things I probably would have never attempted to make if I hadn't been "forced" to do it! Who knew I would like to eat apples every day. I even had a few other fruits, which is very unusual. What is the best is that Sydney liked it all too (well, not the sweet potato). She has always been a fruit and veggie girl if we have it here, but we added everything else and ALL enjoyed it. 

So, my summary. SO GLAD we did this. I would definitely recommend it, or some sort of cleanse. Even if you may not lose a lot in measurements, you will feel so much better. Will we eat cheesy, fattening pizza again? Of course…we already have. *Note, I enjoyed every bit of it, but my portion was less than 1/2 of what I would have eaten 30 days ago! MODERATION! I will for sure be making some yummy healthy meals too. Food that is good for you CAN taste good!
 
And, if you are one of those people who say you would never make it….I give you the statement I never believe when I hear it but it is SO TRUE! If I can do it….YOU CAN do it!

We the People

I know I just posted a blog, and this won't happen too often, but I just had to get another one out there before the election results come in.

If you are looking for me to tell you the whys and why nots on who I think you should vote for...I hope you aren't holding your breath in anticipation. This is about us…the people who are choosing the next president. I don't know about you, but I am so sick of all the calls, mailers and commentary this year. Seems between television and social media added in, we are so overwhelmed with opinions and mistruths that it is hard to cut through to the core of what is REAL. Every time either candidate says something, the other side turns it into something else. Every time they may change their opinion, and sometimes don't you think it is because they are listening to us???, they are called a liar (even if they aren't lying). When there is unity between parties, great example being Christie and Obama, people gasp because apparently it isn't right that politicians can be human.

Everyone's mind is made up, or at least I hope so by this point. I hope that no matter who wins, we respect the office. I know that is a huge dream of mine, especially after what has been with the last two presidents. Think about this….the office of President is the leader of our great country. They have put themselves out there to "be in charge" of us. Yes, they make mistakes. Yes, they do things one side or the other doesn't agree with, but he, and maybe someday she, deserves respect. They are elected by us. Isn't it great we have that right?

This year's election has truly drawn out the worst in people. The name calling, the exaggerated stories, the arguing amongst we the people. It has become so hateful.  The political groups then get out and stir the hate pot with how they talk and they plant those seeds in our heads. Why? Do we not see how other countries are living? Do our daughters get shot because they think girls should have the right to go to school? We have it pretty lucky…democrat or republican. I would love it if those running for office would go out and just tell us what THEY will do..period. Don't worry about the other guy and knocking him down. I want to know what YOU, Mr. Candidate, will do. Yes, I know…this will never be the case. A girl can dream.

I will be voting. It's probably obvious to you if you see my Facebook page I will be voting Romney. Last election, I voted Obama. I even have a picture of me with him and I am proud of it! But, I can tell you this. No matter who wins, I know it will be what is meant to be and I will respect him as our leader. I need to put my trust in him if for no other reason, I know he will be doing a better job than I could! I hope….really hope…that we can all put this nastiness behind us. I pray that we can work together as a country. Not only in times of crisis as we have recently seen on the east coast, but because we are a great country called the UNITED States of America!

Cheers to November 7!