Well, I am finally back to do my first blog. Honestly, I
debate whether to put it out there. I am sure my words are all over the place
and I am embarrassed for anyone to read it, but that particular statement…. "
I am embarrassed for anyone to read it" is what it is all about. Yes, I am
writing this first paragraph last and as I so easily was typing the lack of confidence statement it hit me…a
big Ah Ha moment! I hope that even one person gets something from it. Because
if they do…it will make any negative thoughts some may have or I
"think" they have, worth it!
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Lessons to be learned. Teaching your daughter to have
confidence in herself and not worry about what others think, or what she
perceives they are thinking. Seems very hypocritical when you yourself feel the
same, wouldn't you say? I am learning this lesson more and more. Especially as
Sydney grows. She is facing things already at a young age that if they aren't
worked through in just the right way, it could shape her future self-esteem
into something not so good.
Confidence….the definition is “self
assurance or a belief in your ability to succeed”. One word, but there are so
many ways to apply it to your life. Some are born with this
wonderful trait of confidence, but if it doesn't come naturally, some gain it
thru careers, talents and even relationships. Sometimes it lasts, but other
times it goes up and down just like those careers, talents and relationships. Then there are those who never quite have it. Even
though we are taught “don’t worry about what anyone thinks of you”, this can
play a huge factor into how you feel about yourself.
Growing up I would say I had a lot
of friends. And, even though we are now scattered all over the place, I still
have some of those friendships. But, at the same time, I remember being made
fun of for how I looked, mostly, but other things too. One specific incident, I
remember getting prank phone calls from a guy that, frankly, got to be pretty
scary for me. Telling me how pretty I was and how much he liked me and it just
got really creepy. The worst part is that in the end, my parents and I were pretty
sure it wasn’t even him, but it was “friends” who were getting a good laugh out
of what I was going through. You can't stop all of this, no matter how many
bully campaigns society comes out with. We can only build our kids up, and
ourselves when we need it.
Yes, friendships. They can be
really hard for young and old alike, can't they? The famous "you can't
play with us" thing as the group runs away from you when you are young is
a popular thing for the little ones. Making fun of their looks, calling them
names, telling them they aren't cool enough to be part of the group. For most,
how can that not affect your confidence? Sure, it is easy to say go off and
play with someone else but when any from that "group" are what you
consider a really good friend, it's hard not to lose a little self-esteem…confidence.
"Why don't they like me?" "Are they never going to be my
friend?" "What is wrong with ME?" Sometimes it comes to the
point when we are so desperate for a friend that we, again both children and
adults, hang out with people who might not be so good for us just to have
people to do things with. But, this isn't the answer. As adults, this is when
you must find a way to build on your own, remember not to rely on others to
make you feel value. For our children, we somehow need to help them feel good
about themselves and that no matter who likes them or doesn't, they still mean something.
Easy to say, isn't it?
Confidence. Self-Esteem. What’s
the answer? Nope, you aren't going to find it here. Obviously, if you know me well
you will know that I trust in God completely and the right answer would be to
say just give it all to Him and He will take care of it. But, I also know that
I am not a good example of following that advice. It is something I work hard
at every day and still come up short. What about our kids? How do we make it
better for them? I don't know the answer to that either but what I will say is
that I try to teach Sydney to be more aware of others. Say kind words no matter
how you are being treated. Of course, she is 8 and she is human. This isn't
always going to work. She has feelings that will get hurt. But, I guess my
answer for today is to keep stressing to her to be kind in all situations,
because it will make her a better person throughout her life, which will contribute to that confidence. Build
on her strengths. Teach her to not dwell on her weaknesses. Baby steps…first
steps…. All heading toward the mile marker sign of Confidence!
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